My shoulders were a bit tight from all this swimming. Go and get yourself another relaxing massage from a dainty Thai girl, Jo said. Unfortunately the place I went to last time was closed so I wandered back along the beach and found a promising busy alternative. There were already three tiny Japanese girls being gently stroked with aromatic oils by three equally tiny Thai ladies. There was just one more space so up I stepped and was introduced to my very big, built like the proverbial brick privvy, masseur with hands like shovels.
I thought my previous tiny Thai lady had exerted great strength and had massaged quite deeply for one so slight. O M G we started with the Thai version of a klingon death grip, never mind thinking I was going to be pushed throught the mattress, I had visions of me ending up face down in the sand under the shack having been pushed through the floor. Her two hands just about covered the total surface area of my back. I knew I was tight in a couple of places but she found knots in there I didn't know existed and she got to work on them. You still ok she said. I mumbled that I was still breathing although I was finding it difficult face down in a pillow with the weight on my back forcing the air out of my lungs faster than I could suck it back in. There were forearm smashes, elbows with huge pressure behind them and still these knots wouldn't give way. Please give way soon, I thought. "You still ok?" This time I couldn't speak and hoped the universal sign of a thumbs up meant the same in Thailand. It doesn't. It obviously means exert even more pressure and associated agony please.
For the grand finale of this beating I was flicked effortlessly over onto my back, my arms were tied together in some kind of knot, held in some kind of leg lock whilst she rocked gently back and forth three times but on the fourth time an unexpected almighty heave was exerted which nearly seperated my torso from my lower half.
We finished with a relaxing wind down of both her thumbs being forced through my temples until my eyes popped out!
" You come back tomorrow and we'll get those knots out". I paid 300 bahts and ran like hell thankful we were catching the flight to Singapore Thursday morning!